Todays Prompt: Tattered
Do you have a tattered heart? Tattered means old and worn, in poor condition, showing signs of wear and tear or neglect.
One of the ways our heart becomes tattered is that disappointments pile up over the years. The big ones we have to deal with. However, the small ones, we just shove into a corner and go about our life.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred, also known as a disappointment, comes when our expectations are not met in a timely matter. Overcoming this is something God has been working on with me this year. When left unchecked, disappointment will affect your ability to dream and allow you to place limitations on God.
As a child, I dreamed of being a model. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up in class one day, I told that. Everybody laughed! I was so embarrassed and crushed; my heart was a little tattered that day. Needless to say, I did not become a model. In fact, that dream died in that room that day. Or did it?
My One Word of the Year is Become. Part of that journey is to eliminate the negative effects of disappointment in my life. When I was reminded of this incident, He asked me, "why did you want to be a model?". So I thought about it. I think at 8 years old, I wanted to be liked, admired, and wear pretty clothes. That is what I thought happened when you were a model. After reflecting on this, I realized my dream did come true, just not in the way I thought it would. I have been liked, admired, and gotten many chances to wear pretty clothes throughout my life.
As I accepted this dream did come true, disappointment I did even know I was carrying, dissolved. It has caused me to examine other dreams I've had and see them in a different light. How many dreams fulfilled became disappointments because of my lack of understanding? Is it possible that much of my hope deferred was because I was not seeing as God sees?
It was such a little thing; that dream long forgotten. But somehow, that disappointment settled in my heart. Over a lifetime, other small disappointments collected until a tattered heart immerged. This heart says I can't because this happened. This tattered heart limits God to what He has done (or not done) in the past.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
Self-help exercises, motivational pep talks, or a vision board may help, but they can't fix a tattered heart. It takes the Holy Spirit to seek out those places and heal them. And we must allow Him to do it. Only then can we have faith to dream big and take the limitations off what God wants to do in our lives.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
I encourage you to take some time to sit with the Lord and allow Him to heal the tattered places in your heart. Then, without the limitations you have previously held, dream again.
**This post is part of the #write28days Challenge, writing and posting EVERY DAY in February